Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face

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(765): View more from Indiana

I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??

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(214): View more from Texas

Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?

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(578): View more from

oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.

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(847): View more from Illinois

no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.

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(734): View more from Michigan

What do you wear to apply at a strip club?

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(303): View more from Colorado

I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face

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(406): View more from Montana

He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.

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