brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
