Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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