Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
