He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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