Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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