Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize