One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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