Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
