Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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