I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
