We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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