The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
