i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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