:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
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apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
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Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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