I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize