dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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