I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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