i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
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He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
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Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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