Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
