if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
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You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
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Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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