I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
