she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
