the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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