saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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