the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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