I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
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He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
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Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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