Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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