I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
