she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
