So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
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Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
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RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...