Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
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Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
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Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset