so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks