You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho