Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?