I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
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