When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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