I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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