Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
