a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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