haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize