yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
