those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
