I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize