I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
