I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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