I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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