I wish I only lived at night.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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