I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
