i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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