you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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