maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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