I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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