Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
