Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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