Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I still have a little drunk in my system
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
