I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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