What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
