Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
